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Submitted on
July 4, 2012
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Almighty Grace:

This poem will rest the case
For any whom deem to embrace
A life full of questions
Handed over suggestions
Though even being wise
Please do think twice
It may save what is last
From whatever longed past
I stand before you now
Raising one brow
Asking you once
So don't be dunce
However you chose to live
Know that I forgive
For the look on your face
Shows there is space
For my Almighty Grace
Poem: Almighty Grace: Written by: Kevin M. Sies (EternalFlame1891)
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:iconnotensmsk:
Ok lets see. I like the title and the theme but there is a lot of working you need on this.

Firstly, you IF you are speaking this in Gods words then remember that you have to be very careful. Sentences like "This poem will rest the case" do not match. Either make "poem" into "message". Also in other places you cannot bring up controversy.

Another thing. It seems in places that you were desperate to rhyme. That is good and not good. While rhymes are at times the most prominent features of poetry, you should know that rhymes are not all that there is. Either find a better rhyme or change the sentence for it doesn't make sense like "It may save what is last/from whatever long past" I don't get it.

Lastly, do add punctuation's so one can guess where a sentence starts and where it ends. Take care of these things.
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:iconbreakneckviolet:
BreakNeckViolet Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
Baby, I love this one. Your wording is always so perfectly clear, and I understood this immediately for what it is, so ... don't worry. :) Your point came across very well, darling. I'm so proud of you... and you're my bright shining star! I love you. <3
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:iconeternalflame1891:
EternalFlame1891 Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2012
Thanks, babe! I am glad you got the message! ;) I try my best babe I am not a perfect writter but I am trying! Love you too babe! <3
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:iconbreakneckviolet:
BreakNeckViolet Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
I guess I'm just more in tune with what you're trying to say, baby! Either that or I read things more carefully and do the whole "use brain before opening mouth" deal. <3 And stop. Your writing is great. :) Love you, darling.
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:iconeternalflame1891:
EternalFlame1891 Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2012
LOL! Exactly babe! Have to understand where I come from and use your mind and open it to new horizons gorgeous! :) Thanks for all the encouragement and support babe! It is all greatly returned! :) Love you, baby! <333
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:iconbreakneckviolet:
BreakNeckViolet Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
LOL! I am very used to understanding just where you're coming from, baby, and I am real in tue with you as you are with me! :) You're very welcome for all the encouragement and support and thank you for returning it back to me, honey! Mwah! I love you so much, babe! <333
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:iconeternalflame1891:
EternalFlame1891 Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2012
LOL! I know you are babe! We are in tune about everything gorgeous and I am always in tune with you baby! :) I appreciate every bit of it too darling! I love you so much honey and thanks for everything baby! Mwah! Love you so much more honey! <33333
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:iconbreakneckviolet:
BreakNeckViolet Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
:) Well, hell yeah! I know that you're always in tune with me, babe, and I really appreciate that! I love you so much and you are very welcome, darling! I love you so much and thank you for everything! Mwah!
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:iconeternalflame1891:
EternalFlame1891 Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2012
:) You are very welcome honey! Thank you for always seeing my side of stuff babe! I love you with all my heart and don't know what I would ever do without you my Gorg! Mwah! XOXOXOXOXO! <333333333333!
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(1 Reply)
:iconthepenvsthesword:
ThePenVsTheSword Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2012  Student Writer
I'm confused as to who's speaking in this.
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:iconeternalflame1891:
EternalFlame1891 Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2012
I guess you could say God speaking words through me! :)
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